LONDON—Upon learning that the United Kingdom would officially be leaving the European Union, absentee fathers everywhere have been announcing their unconditional support for “Brexit.” “Anyone […]
WESTWOOD–Visiting from out of state and touring the campus on Bruin Transfer Day, prospective student John McDermot reportedly spent much of his time at UCLA […]
WESTWOOD—Local cultural elite Arthur Chesterfield was reported to have liked William Shakespeare’s page on Facebook earlier today. “I just really think the English canon would […]
NEW YORK CITY—Donald Trump announced at a rally this morning that, if nominated, which “[he] might as well have been from the very second [he] […]
POTOMAC, MD—Again under fire for their lavish fundraisers, Clinton campaign staffers built a moat surrounding a fundraising event at a private residence in Potomac yesterday […]
UGANDA — Charles Masane, leader of the Righteous Liberation Army announced in a press release this morning that water will be discounted 20% this weekend […]
WESTWOOD—Charlotte’s Boutique, a store in Westwood, sold out of its entire stock of useless shit, sources confirm. The store, established in 2009, is frequented by […]
TOKYO — Protesters at the Japanese Cultural Cuisine Association’s annual food sampling last Thursday were shocked to learn that the animal they were fighting to […]
WESTWOOD— In a recently-published study conducted by the University of California’s Data Glossary Analysis Forum (DGAF), 0% of undergraduate students enrolled at the Los Angeles […]
WESTWOOD—After several moments of deep, pensive internal debate, local woman Ann Campbell has decided that right now, with a red light and several pedestrians blocking […]
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