UCLA’S Top Five Sexually Eligible Statues
5. John Wooden It’s no surprise that a man whose first and last names both mean penis is coming in hot on this list. John […]
Arts
“Old UCLA Hoodie And Jeans” Receives Oscar For Best Costume Design
HOLLYWOOD — Tonight, the Academy of Motion Arts and Pictures has announced that the modern-classic, “Old UCLA Hoodie and Jeans,” has won an Oscar for […]
“Romance Movies Have No Plot” Says Guy Whose Romance Has Even Less Plot
Despite the fact this his current relationship is loveless and boring, Business Economics major Gustavo Hettro complained that his girlfriend’s choice of Pride and Prejudice […]
Quirky! Indie Kid Records Concert On 3DS
LOS ANGELES – While waiting for the Tyler, the Creator concert to begin, one indie kid made it his life’s mission to record the entire […]
Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan To Headline “They’re Alive?” Festival
INDIO — Early Thursday morning, organizers of the famed “They’re Alive?” festival excitedly announced their two headliners: Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan. “No, it was […]
Fine, Sure, Whatever: The Bear Wins Grammy for Song of the Year
LOS ANGELES — In a shocking upset, FX’s “The Bear” has won this year’s Grammy Award for Song of the Year. “I don’t really know […]
Enabler Reviews: The Arrival Of A Train At La Ciotat (1896)
Movies. They’ve been around for over 100 years and have given us universally lauded classics like “The Godfather,” “Parasite,” and “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.” […]
I Lived It: My Face Card Got Declined
WESTWOOD – It’s 3:30, and I just got out of class to go to Kerckhoff Coffeehouse. It’s been a long day and I need my […]
Charlie Brown Diagnosed With CTE
ANYTOWN, USA – After getting his 7th concussion from failing to kick the football, Charlie Brown has been diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). “Wah […]
Well, That Can’t Be Good! Las Vegas Sphere Rolls Away
LAS VEGAS — The Las Vegas entertainment industry suffered a devastating loss this past weekend when a strong gust of wind sent the world-famous Sphere […]