4 Out Of 5 Dentists Say You Should Break Up

CAMBRIDGE A recent study done by MIT analysts has found that four out of five dentists say you should break up with your good-for-nothing boyfriend Trent. Here’s what the experts have to say:

Dr Jonas Crest, DDM: “The angry redness and inflammation around your eyes suggests that you’ve been doing too much crying and not enough flossing.”

Dr Sarah Colgate, DDM: “Just look at this image of what happens when a sad girlfriend is left overnight in a tub of Coca-Cola.”

Dr Joan Aquafresh, DDM: “He’s uprooting your life like a root canal.”

Dr Tom Sensodyne, DDM: “You need to be getting at least two minutes of quality together time every morning and evening. That’s, like, three ‘Happy Birthdays.’ You’re only doing one Happy Birthday.”

The one dissenting dentist could not be reached for comment, but we asked your mom, and she doesn’t like Trent either.

About Gillian Smith 26 Articles
Flavius Octavius Julius Gaius Septimius, known colloquially as "Gillian the Great," is the 71st emperor of Rome. Her notable achievements include winning the 2021 Maryland BOGGLE state championship and not being assassinated yet.