Opinion: This “College” Shit Is Nothing Like Community
I arrived at UCLA like many first-years: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and convinced that my four years at college would be just as magical as the six […]
college
Alabamian Initiates Dorm Floorcest Movement In The Name Of Culture
WESTWOOD — First-year Alabamian and psychology major Cous N. Louver has sparked controversy for introducing a new trend among his peers: floorcest. “My entangled family […]
Fifth-Year Continuing To Major In “Fundecided”
WESTWOOD — Long-term student Brody Martin, currently enrolled in his fifteenth quarter, informed his counselor Monday that he is taking a lighter course load this […]
Speaker On Bruinwalk To Blast “Pre-Med Pre-Health?” Every Ten Seconds
WESTWOOD — This Monday, at the peak of rush hour on Bruinwalk, a speaker programmed to blast “Pre-med? Pre-health?” made its debut in front of […]
4 Out Of 5 Dentists Say You Should Break Up
CAMBRIDGE — A recent study done by MIT analysts has found that four out of five dentists say you should break up with your good-for-nothing […]
BREAKING: Everyone Who Commented “pls admit me” On UCLA’s Instagram Was Just Accepted
WESTWOOD — In a ground-breaking decision, the Board of Admissions at UCLA has accepted all undergraduate applicants who commented a message akin to “pls admit […]
5 Organs To Steal From Your Significant Other Other Than Their Heart
Strapped for cash for the best Valentine’s Day gift? Already donated all the blood you can to the blood and platelet center? Not to fret– […]
Good News! Ashe Appointment Available December 2022
WESTWOOD — On her fifth call to the Ashe Center, second-year Natalie Johnson was able to secure a primary care appointment for December 2022. “I’m […]
Heroes: Feminist Frat Bros Annoyed But Respectful Of Your Decision Not To Hook Up With Them Right Now
FRAT ROW — Multiple eyewitness accounts came in last Thursday outside of Chi Alpha Theta regarding the romantic events of the thriving party inside. “Yeah, […]
Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring, And Other Bad Study Habits To Get Rid Of Before Finals
Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, […]