WESTWOOD — In a ground-breaking decision, the Board of Admissions at UCLA has accepted all undergraduate applicants who commented a message akin to “pls admit me D’:” on any of UCLA’s Instagram posts. “It was a shot in the dark, but I knew that if the social media intern would just pass my message along to the administrators, I would really set myself apart,” said New-Bruin Morgan Jackson, whose extracurriculars include standing and sleeping. “My application reader told me that my thoughtful emoji placement and gentle persuasion showed my worthiness to be at this school more than any silly GPA or test score could.” At press time, the Board was searching for the identity of follower “JoeBruinStan03” to extend to them the UC Regents Scholarship.
About Lily Kiamanesh
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♅, or the staff writer formerly known as Lily Kiamanesh, is a psychobiology major in the class of 2024.