Joe Bruin Put Down
WESTWOOD — The UCLA community was struck by an unexpected tragedy late last night, when it was announced that school mascot Joe Bruin had been […]
Month: November 2021
Student-Athletes Spotted Sleeping, Showering In UCLA-Branded Backpacks
WESTWOOD — Reports of student-athletes never taking off their black UCLA backpacks have been on the rise as campus has returned to in-person instruction. “No […]
Almost Getting Trampled, And Other UCLA Student Activities You Must Do Before Graduating
With a hustlin’ and bustlin’ campus filled with over 30,000 undergraduate students, it can be hard to keep track of all UCLA has to offer, […]
Opinion: Dear UCLA Women’s Volleyball Team, Please Bully Me
WESTWOOD — An Open Letter to the Volleyball Team It all started when I saw you destroy the Washington Huskies last Sunday. Zoe Fleck, you […]
Goldman Sachs Recruiters Use Picture Of Female Employee Twice On Diversity Slide
NEW YORK — This past week, recruiters at a Goldman Sachs information session were caught using the same image of a woman twice on a […]
Optimistic Area Man Thinks He’ll Get The Friends In Breakup
SACRAMENTO — Local man and former girlfriend-haver James Jobs shocked acquaintances and family on Friday with his announcement that he will retain his and his […]
Impossible Foods Announces New Plant-Based Bananas
SAN FRANCISCO — Following the success of their Impossible Burger, vegan foodstuff maker Impossible Foods, Inc. announced Thursday a new line of 100% plant-based bananas. […]
Rapper Drake Gets Stuck In Tree, Saved By Firefighters
THE SIX — Rap superstar Aubrey “Drake” Graham was rescued from an 8 foot tall tree in Toronto’s High Park Thursday afternoon by the Toronto […]
Frats Scramble To Start “One Tree For Every Nude” Trend On Instagram
WESTWOOD — In light of the recent trend on Instagram where users share one pet picture in exchange for one tree planted, UCLA’s fraternities have […]
Depressed Student Changes Adderall Supplier In Desperate Bid For Fentanyl
WESTWOOD — Depressed college student Diane Young has gone through four different Adderall suppliers in the past month alone in a desperate attempt to get […]