UCLA Doubles Down On “Zero Waste 2020”
WESTWOOD — On Tuesday, Chancellor Gene Block reaffirmed in an address to the university that UCLA will be waste-free by 2020. “Although we are well […]
campus life
Math Major Aspires to 69
WESTWOOD — Second-year applied math student Jake Willow has a dream: to someday 69. “I’ve spent a lot of time in college learning about math, […]
“Beg For It,” Says Automatic Faucet
WESTWOOD — According to toilets close with the Enabler, the rightmost automatic faucet in Target has begun demanding bathroom users to “beg for it” in […]
Social Bubble Expands To All Of Westwood
WESTWOOD — After gradually growing over the past several months through totally socially distanced picnics, parties and date nights, one social bubble has finally expanded […]
Wow! Bill Murray Crashed This Lucky Fan’s Open-Heart Surgery!
CHICAGO—Comedy legend Bill Murray had people in stitches Tuesday morning when he made an unexpected appearance at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, crashing super-fan Rich Browning’s triple-bypass […]
Only Man In Gender Studies Class Raises Hand
WESTWOOD — In last Tuesday’s Introduction to Gender Studies discussion, Brock Price, a 6-foot tall football player, frat brother, and the only man in the […]
Freshman Admit Has Highest SAT Score In Orientation Group
WESTWOOD — Derek Bowman, an incoming UCLA first year, excitedly announced that after sneaking peeks at his fellow admits’ class planners, he discovered he had […]
UCLA to Eliminate Fraternities to Help Achieve Goal of Zero Waste by 2020
WESTWOOD—UCLA has just announced its plan to progressively eliminate fraternities within three years to help achieve its goal of zero waste by 2020. “It just […]
Study: No One Asked for Daily Bruin’s Opinion
WESTWOOD— In a recently-published study conducted by the University of California’s Data Glossary Analysis Forum (DGAF), 0% of undergraduate students enrolled at the Los Angeles […]
Student Finds Roommate’s Bong Or Dildo, Not Sure Which
WESTWOOD — Stating he felt “extreme terror” and “penetrating feelings of fear,” third year sociology major Jason Schwartz claims to have found a hollow glass […]