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campus life

The Enabler Reviews: The Laptop Screen Of The Person Sitting In Front Of You In Lecture

June 15, 2023 Lily Kiamanesh 0

SPOILERS AHEAD. Skip Netflix — the hottest new entertainment is the laptop screen of the person sitting in front of you in lecture. The story […]

Boelter Hall Plaza To Be Turned Into Rainforest Cafe

June 2, 2023 Emma Searing 0

WESTWOOD — After years of appearing only vaguely wild and jungle-like, the UCLA Samueli School of Engineering will finally be building a Rainforest Cafe in […]

Republicans Propose “No Child Left Unshot” Plan

May 23, 2023 Gillian Smith 0

WASHINGTON D.C. — Seeking to expand on the “No Child Left Behind” educational program, Senate Republicans have rolled out “No Child Left Unshot.” “We think […]

A Warm Hug, And 4 Other Things UCLA Dining Will Give You For 20 Swipes

March 20, 2023 Lily Kiamanesh 0

Spring Break is almost upon us! It is finally that time of the quarter when underclassmen swap their remaining swipes for whatever is rolling around […]

Ask The Enabler: “Best Places To Hide A Vibrator In A Classic Triple?”

February 2, 2023 Melissa Beining 0

If a roommate questions why your portable charger is covered in white marks and has an odor, the safest bet is to blame it on […]

Speaker On Bruinwalk To Blast “Pre-Med Pre-Health?” Every Ten Seconds

November 11, 2022 Blue Flood 0

WESTWOOD — This Monday, at the peak of rush hour on Bruinwalk, a speaker programmed to blast “Pre-med? Pre-health?” made its debut in front of […]

Touring High Schooler Looks Like A Better Fit For Berkeley

June 9, 2022 Milo Ellison 0

WESTWOOD — A high school student touring the UCLA campus looks like they would be a better fit for second-rate UC Berkeley. “Usually when I’m […]

North Campus Students Enjoy First Week of Summer

June 7, 2022 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA students majoring in the humanities and social sciences have reportedly been enjoying their first week of summer, which as far as they […]

UCLA Frat Issues Notes App Apology for Alleged Serial Sexual Assault

May 31, 2022 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — On Monday, a UCLA Fraternity was cornered into finally addressing their countless sexual assault allegations. Their method of addressing this serious issue was […]

Main Character Energy? This Girl In Your Class Refuses to Shut Up

May 19, 2022 Billie Chang 0

SCAND 50 — On Tuesday, excited freshman Lola Laurens readily responded to every statement made by her professor. “Mother and Father say I have to […]

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  • Weird! Student Goes To Law School Without Exhausting Other Options First
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