Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked
WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]
Opinion
Op-Ed: Crosswalk May Stop My Walk, But It Cannot Stop The Winds Of Time
Well well well, look who it is. Mister “Oh you have to wait a few seconds even though there are no cars.” You think you’re […]
Week Five Has Students Saying “Oh Wow, It’s Week Five”
WESTWOOD — It is now week five of the quarter, which means students across campus are realizing it is the fifth week of the quarter. […]
Bird Tipping Not the Same, Say Students Of Rural Background
WESTWOOD — Early Friday morning, students hailing from rural hometowns saw an opportunity to engage in a favorite childhood pastime after drunkenly stumbling past herds […]
Op-Ed: Toddlers Are Idiot Loser Virgins
When I heard I was gonna be an uncle, I was like dope. But as soon as little Piss Pants was born, I realized that […]
The Sexiest, I Mean The Smartest Youth Climate Activists
The global movement to adopt greener solutions has been led by sexy children who have fought tooth and nail to prot–I mean, intelligent. The push […]
Feminist Hero Comments “OMG!!!” On Female Acquaintance’s Instagram Photo
LOS ANGELES — In the name of advancing women’s equality, feminist hero Serena Colli commented “OMG!!!” on a female acquaintance’s photo. “I don’t even know […]
Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season
Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]
Op-Ed: SexyBack By Justin Timberlake Just Metaphor For Cold War
Yo, the name’s Justin Timberlake and I’m the creative genius behind the 2006 hit “SexyBack.” I’ve been called “the most talented artist of our generation,” […]
Local Man Not Nazi, Just Thinks Swastikas Look Cool
LOS ANGELES — In an unsolicited interview Friday evening, local WASP Luke Campbell adamantly refused any allegiance to the Third Reich, despite a prominent swastika […]