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Articles by Grace Johnston-Glick

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About Grace Johnston-Glick
Please follow Grace on Twitter @notsadhorsegirl in the hopes of forming a parasocial bond that might one day turn into a prosperous marriage with 2.5 children and 1.4 dog.

Trump Administration Announces New Hammer-Based Healthcare Plan

May 5, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Late last Tuesday night, reporters gathered in the crowded press briefing room to watch Vice President Mike Pence demonstrate the Trump Administration’s […]

Op-Ed: I Definitely Love My Husband

May 5, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

The first thing that I want to make unequivocally clear is that I have never in my life not loved my husband. I love the […]

Op-Ed: Women Under 5’6” Should Be Allowed To See Little Women For Free

March 24, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

When I first saw Little Women I was surprised by how big the women were. I quickly got over my shock when I realized that […]

Op-Ed: I Will Only Vote For Bernie Sanders If He Yells Louder

March 3, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

I grew up in a lighthouse on the coast, my father a foghorn and my mother a seagull. I was nineteen by the time I […]

Baby Yoda Arrested For Tax Evasion

January 31, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

CHICAGO — Late last Monday evening, America’s little green sweetheart, Baby Yoda, was arrested outside his Chicago mansion for alleged tax evasion. The IRS, aided […]

Jimmy Carter Hit By 18-Wheeler, Survives

August 14, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

PLAINS, GA — Early last morning, former President Jimmy Carter was struck by an 18-wheeler while prowling the streets for more turkeys before the end […]

UN Classifies One Floor Elevator Rides As War Crime

June 14, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

WESTWOOD — This afternoon, the UN passed a resolution to reclassify one-floor elevator trips from a low-level faux pas to a fully fledged war crime. […]

Game Of Thrones Cancelled Halfway Through Final Episode

May 20, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

NEW YORK — Last night, the final episode of HBO’s hit fantasy series Game of Thrones was canceled halfway through its final episode. “It just seemed […]

  • Sad: UCLA 2025 Alum Still Roaming Campus

  • Top Five Father’s Day Gifts For A Dad Who Doesn’t Golf Or Grill Or Fish Or Camp Or Mow The Lawn

    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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