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Articles by Grace Johnston-Glick

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About Grace Johnston-Glick
Please follow Grace on Twitter @notsadhorsegirl in the hopes of forming a parasocial bond that might one day turn into a prosperous marriage with 2.5 children and 1.4 dog.

Trump Administration Announces New Hammer-Based Healthcare Plan

May 5, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Late last Tuesday night, reporters gathered in the crowded press briefing room to watch Vice President Mike Pence demonstrate the Trump Administration’s […]

Op-Ed: I Definitely Love My Husband

May 5, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

The first thing that I want to make unequivocally clear is that I have never in my life not loved my husband. I love the […]

Op-Ed: Women Under 5’6” Should Be Allowed To See Little Women For Free

March 24, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

When I first saw Little Women I was surprised by how big the women were. I quickly got over my shock when I realized that […]

Op-Ed: I Will Only Vote For Bernie Sanders If He Yells Louder

March 3, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

I grew up in a lighthouse on the coast, my father a foghorn and my mother a seagull. I was nineteen by the time I […]

Baby Yoda Arrested For Tax Evasion

January 31, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

CHICAGO — Late last Monday evening, America’s little green sweetheart, Baby Yoda, was arrested outside his Chicago mansion for alleged tax evasion. The IRS, aided […]

Jimmy Carter Hit By 18-Wheeler, Survives

August 14, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

PLAINS, GA — Early last morning, former President Jimmy Carter was struck by an 18-wheeler while prowling the streets for more turkeys before the end […]

UN Classifies One Floor Elevator Rides As War Crime

June 14, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

WESTWOOD — This afternoon, the UN passed a resolution to reclassify one-floor elevator trips from a low-level faux pas to a fully fledged war crime. […]

Game Of Thrones Cancelled Halfway Through Final Episode

May 20, 2019 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

NEW YORK — Last night, the final episode of HBO’s hit fantasy series Game of Thrones was canceled halfway through its final episode. “It just seemed […]

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