Life
Idiot Slob Wears De Neve Outfit to BPlate
WESTWOOD — Giant, stupid, idiot slob and first-year European Studies major Bruce Gordito recently degraded himself and everyone around him by wearing an ugly, sloppy […]
Twelve Bike Cops Injured, Two Dead After Attempt To Arrest Ackerman Flood
WESTWOOD — After Ackerman and half of campus has been flooded, the leader of UCLA’s bicycle strike force is being blamed for its failure to […]
Charli xcx And Troye Sivan To Host Sweat Tour At CS31 Lecture
WESTWOOD — Charli xcx and Troye Sivan have announced one of the stops on their mutual Sweat Tour will be at the sweatiest venue in […]
New UCLA Policy Moves “Free Speech Zone” To Middle Of The 405
WESTWOOD — After the wave of pro-Palestine protests that swept campus last year, Interim Chancellor Darnell Hunt has announced a new policy that limits protests […]
OPINION: Lol Did You Hear The News? This Is Crazy. Anyways Wyd Tonite? ;)
Hey I know this is super random lol but did you hear about Biden stepping down? It’s so crazy this is all happening. I really […]
Opinion: Hinge Isn’t Working. It’s Time To Start Fucking My Friends
Dating apps are difficult. Yeah, I said it. “Heyyyyy haha! I also like cats! Lolz!” “WYD” “Taking a shower? Without me?” And I get nothing. […]
Opinion: Dear Covel Pianists, La La Land Won’t Heal Your Heartache
I get it. It’s the score of dreamers. If a flash mob were to break out in Ackerman, we could all imitate the choreography of […]
Congrats Seniors! Studies Find People Actually Turn To Sand After Graduating College
WESTWOOD — As students graduate and begin their careers as baristas and consultants for their dad’s company, newly minted adults can find comfort in the […]
Gene Block One Well-Worded Email Away From World Peace
WESTWOOD — After sending multiple emails about the current “conflicts” happening both on campus and internationally, Gene Block is reportedly just one well-worded email away […]