Ruh Roh! Scooby-Doo Put Down
OHIO — Tragedy struck this morning as beloved speech-impaired dog Scooby-Doo was put down. “He, like, mauled an old guy for pretending he was a […]
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Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder
WESTWOOD — Second-year Theater major and non-binary messiah Cricket Vanderbilt made history this week as the first queer elder born after the invention of Facebook. […]
Well, That Can’t Be Good! Las Vegas Sphere Rolls Away
LAS VEGAS — The Las Vegas entertainment industry suffered a devastating loss this past weekend when a strong gust of wind sent the world-famous Sphere […]
Early Hominids Clustered Around John Wooden Monolith Miraculously Discover Tool Usage, Basketball
DAWN OF MAN – Following reports that a mysterious large black monolith has encased the John Wooden statue on Bruinwalk, a local group of early […]
“What’s The World’s Smartest Dinosaur? A Thesaurus!” And 3 Other Silly Jokes About Dinosaurs And Thesauruses To Impress Your Unresponsive Father
Just a well-written joke all around! The multiple synonyms at the end really make that punchline hit hard, and your father will definitely see that […]
Timothée Chalamet Tells The Enabler Why He’s Dating Kylie Jenner
“Life is short, youth is fleeting, death comes for us all.”
Hobbes Eats Calvin
CHAGRIN FALLS, OH.— Cartoonist Bill Watterson announced today that six-year-old cartoon star Calvin has been eaten by his tiger Hobbes. “Bet you thought my anthropomorphism […]
Gene Block Joins Cast Of “Barbie” (2023)
MALIBU— UCLA students were starstruck on Tuesday when they saw Westwood’s own Gene Block in the trailer for the highly-anticipated film “Barbie” (2023). “Gene joined […]