OHIO — Tragedy struck this morning as beloved speech-impaired dog Scooby-Doo was put down. “He, like, mauled an old guy for pretending he was a ghost in order to evade property tax!” sobbed Shaggy, Scooby’s best friend, owner, and widow. “I know it was probably really ethically ambiguous to own, like, a fully sentient being, but Scoob was my everything. Zoinks…” Scooby-Doo is unfortunately survived by his stupid ass little nephew Scrappy.