Hedrick Fire Alarm Going Off To This. Sick. Beat.
WESTWOOD — Residents of Hedrick Hall have been increasingly frustrated with the recent switch from standard fire alarms to ones with a small Taylor Swift trapped […]
A&E
Opinion: If Ned Fulmer Can Do It, So Will Your Boyfriend
Did you just celebrate your two year anniversary with Sweetie Cakes? Everything’s going well, he bought you flowers and gifts, and promised to love you […]
Opinion: The Roebling Block Party Is Needlessly Destructive. Also, I Wasn’t Invited.
WESTWOOD — Students set private property ablaze Thursday night at the quarterly Roebling block party, disturbing the peace for Westwood residents trying to get ahead […]
Punk’s Not Dead! Your 13-Year-Old Cousin Just Called You A Bitch
BEL-AIR — Your 13-year old cousin proved definitively that the spirit of punk is alive and well in the younger generation last Friday, when she […]
Enormous Activities Fair Threatened By Prospect Of Humongous Activities Fair
WESTWOOD — UCLA students and organizations alike were alarmed to learn Tuesday of a number of fliers found around campus advertising a “Humongous Activities Fair.” […]
Bruin Bash 2022 To Feature Literal Bashing
WESTWOOD — Amid widespread speculation over which artist will be headlining UCLA’s Bruin Bash, exciting information has come to light: the 2022 edition of the […]
In-N-Out Burger To Replace Bible Verses On Wrappers With Shakespearean Insults
IRVINE — Billionaire owner and president of In-N-Out Burger, Lynsi Snyder, announced last Thursday that the wholesome Bible verses on their packaging will soon be […]
“Just Do It” And 4 Other Things To Say To Your Sweatshop Workers
Sweatshop workers not sweating enough? Don’t sweat it, because the Westwood Enabler has you covered with these original motivational lines! Never tell them that no […]