UCLA Student Not Photographer But Does Have iPhone With Portrait Mode
WESTWOOD — Recent reports from the “UCLA Free & For Sale” Facebook page have indicated that third-year student Liz Samuels did not consider herself a photographer […]
A&E
UCLA Radio Rejections Spur Return Of Doc Martens
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA Radio’s record low admission rate into their intern program three weeks ago, the Doc Martens company experienced a record high surge in […]
Taylor Swift to Start New, Flirtier Political Party
NASHVILLE, TN — In response to backlash regarding her recent endorsement for the Democratic party, Taylor Swift has released a statement regarding her plans to start […]
Mom Watches Every “The Rock” Film for the Plot
WESTWOOD — Carla Batoots, proud mother of five, has recently caught the attention of film critics nationwide for her staunch defense of every movie starring […]
Bill Cosby Nominated To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press briefing this morning from Washington, President Donald Trump announced his nomination of popular comedian and actor Bill Cosby to […]
Students Nervously Wonder How CEC Will Fuck It Up This Time
WESTWOOD – Following a well-received announcement that CupCaKKe and Charli XCX will be headlining this year’s BruinBash concert, students at the University of California, Los […]
Miss America Pageant to Replace Swimsuit Competition With Naked Mud Wrestle
NEW YORK —The Miss America Organization has reportedly dropped the swimsuit portion of the competition, replacing the category with a WWE-style naked mud wrestle. “We […]
Thirteen Year Old Beatles Fan Born In Wrong Generation
SAN ANTONIO — Thirteen year old Beatles fan Allan Davis realized early Monday morning that he was, in fact, born in the wrong generation. “Like this comment […]
“I Think You Mean Frankenstein’s Monster,” Says Friend
WESTWOOD — Interrupting first-year Sarah Ahmed’s description of the role her eighth grade English teacher played in sparking her love for literature, Ahmed’s friend, first-year Aaron […]
Man Who Hasn’t Washed Jeans in Three Weeks Mocks Met Gala Outfits
WESTWOOD — Sources close to the scene report that Dave Sanders, a man who has not washed his jeans in three weeks, spent four hours […]