WESTWOOD – In a surprise new development, BPlate has announced a partnership with the fast food chain McDonald’s to ensure that the froyo machine remains perpetually out of service. “Although our menus couldn’t be more different, we realized that we had common ground in our hatred of seeing our customers happy, and I think that’s what’s important,” said BPlate spokesperson Tin E. Portion during a press conference held in the 40 minute steak line. “Soon it will only work on what we will call Froyo Fridays, which are on the first Thursday of every month. If you gluttonous pigs are good about it, we might consider a second day, but knowing how y’all eat, don’t get your hopes up.” At press time, Eportion was seen heckling a sorority girl for grabbing extra lettuce at the salad bar.