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Holiday

Top 3 Ways Besides COVID to Kill Your Grandma This Thanksgiving

November 24, 2020 Kylie Kinne 0

Listen, we at the Westwood Enabler get it — you want to travel home to your family for Thanksgiving dinner this year. You probably miss […]

BREAKING: I Saw Mommy Kissing The Great Pumpkin

November 1, 2019 Max Flora 0

PUMPKIN PATCH — Last night was Halloween, and in my nine years alive, I had never before seen such haunting magic. At around 2 AM, […]

Saint Valentine Still Not Sure How He Got Caught Up In This Whole Thing

February 13, 2019 Max Flora 0

HEAVEN — Although he was venerated by the Church for his contributions to chivalry and courtly love, Saint Valentine is not really sure what he […]

War On Christmas Death Toll Climbs to 7,000

December 24, 2018 Brian McReynolds 0

WASHINGTON, DC — After Gretchen Vandermint suffered a massive heart attack when a passerby wished her a happy holiday, the War on Christmas has officially claimed […]

Halloween Dorm Decor Accidentally Summons Dark Lord Baphomet

October 29, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD — After taping a paper skeleton to the door of her Rieber Hall dorm, first-year Communication major Shelby Latwick was surprised to be greeted […]

Cute! This Crafty Mom Taught Us Her DIY Methamphetamine Recipe!

February 27, 2018 Kylie Kinne 0

BOISE — Boise, Idaho native and Mom-Extraordinaire Karen-Michelle Cooper sat down with the girls in our test kitchen to show us her fun, easy recipe for […]

How To Have The Perfect Valentine’s Day In College

February 11, 2016 Enabler Staff 0

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! Whether you’re in a relationship or still waiting for that Special Someone, here are some tips for having […]

Angered Deity Smites Man Drinking From Red Starbucks Cup

December 5, 2015 Tucker Moses-Hanson 0

WESTWOOD — Michael Burke, native resident and longtime frequenter of Starbucks Coffee, was punished with divine fury this past Monday outside a local chain after […]

Donald Trump Calls For Santa’s Workshop To Be Relocated To US

December 4, 2015 Jack Lyons 0

NEW YORK CITY — At a press conference in the Trump Tower this past Thursday, Donald Trump demanded that Santa Claus relocate his workshop to […]

Undocumented Immigrants Taking All Of Nation’s Resources, Says Study Conducted By Racist Uncle

November 30, 2015 Melissa Peng 0

FREMONT, CA — For the fourth consecutive year in a row, self-proclaimed scientist and uncle to five Joey Burke announced at a Thanksgiving dinner turned […]

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