Saint Valentine Still Not Sure How He Got Caught Up In This Whole Thing

HEAVEN — Although he was venerated by the Church for his contributions to chivalry and courtly love, Saint Valentine is not really sure what he has to do with this Valentine’s Day thing. “I mean, yeah I appreciated when they started throwing a feast in my honor, but this is a little much,” said Saint Valentine as he received a box of Sweethearts and a card that plays ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.’ “I really like being a saint and everything, but I’m just not sure I want my name associated with all this. I don’t even like chocolate that much.” The Saint appeared the most confused, however, by the absence of Latin prayers in romantic comedies.