Halloween Dorm Decor Accidentally Summons Dark Lord Baphomet

WESTWOOD — After taping a paper skeleton to the door of her Rieber Hall dorm, first-year Communication major Shelby Latwick was surprised to be greeted by the cultic Sabbatic Goat, Baphomet. “There he was, snarling teeth and all,” Latwick said, explaining how she then had to ask the Prince of Sin to quiet down before her RA came to investigate the ominous cloud of fog that had accompanied the diety’s arrival. “Who knew that all it took to conjure up The Wicked One was a couple of Rite-Aid spider webs? Now, I’ve got a guarantee that I’ll ace all my midterms and all I had to do was promise him my roommate’s virginity.” When asked to draw a pentagram of blood on the ground, Latwick was overheard apologizing to the Goat of Mendes for the lack of floor space in the classic triple.

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