Psychology Professor Denies Mental Health Related Extension

WESTWOOD — On Tuesday evening, UCLA Professor of Psychology Dr. Janice Smith denied her student’s request for a mental health related extension on her final paper. “I’m sorry, but in the real world you don’t get extensions for fluffy things like ‘depression,’” said Dr. Smith as she signed a petition in support of more torture at Guantanamo Bay. “If you really needed an extension, you should have thought about that before choosing to have a chemical imbalance in your brain.” Dr. Smith concluded her email by suggesting the student practice mindfulness, smile more, and read her new book, “The Ultimate Cure to Depression and Anxiety: Just Suck It Up, You Little Bitch.”