Confident 100 Year-old Still Buys in Bulk

LOS ANGELES — Despite his advanced age of 100, local World War II veteran Percival Buckland remains steadfast in his patronage of the Sepulveda Costco and other wholesale stores. “I just can’t get enough of that little redhead on the cereal boxes,” said Buckland, who cannot grasp the concept that expiration dates apply to people as well. “Look, I have two industrial size refrigerators in my garage, and I need to fill them up every two months. Otherwise, I have to go to that damn Whole Foods with all the immigrants.” At press time, Buckland was dead.

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About Arman 17 Articles
Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.