Life Alert Releases Congressional-Grade™ Necklace
WASHINGTON — With a third of their ranks being over 70 years old, Congress took steps today to alleviate age-related concerns by giving each member […]
age
Geezer Alert! This UCLA Student Just Said “Covel” Instead Of “Epicuria”
WESTWOOD RETIREMENT HOME — Alleged UCLA student Trevor Child unintentionally revealed his true, prehistoric identity this week when he used the antiquated term “Covel” instead […]
Confident 100 Year-old Still Buys in Bulk
LOS ANGELES — Despite his advanced age of 100, local World War II veteran Percival Buckland remains steadfast in his patronage of the Sepulveda Costco […]
Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older
WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]