In-N-Out Burger To Replace Bible Verses On Wrappers With Shakespearean Insults

IRVINE — Billionaire owner and president of In-N-Out Burger, Lynsi Snyder, announced last Thursday that the wholesome Bible verses on their packaging will soon be replaced with Shakespearean insults. “Each set of insults will be revised every month to follow our freshness guidelines,” Snyder elaborated, shoving away her high school drama club shirts. “These changes will definitely have our customers pondering the duality of fast food. Along with a typical order of milkshakes and fries, customers will feast their eyes on quotes like ‘I scorn you, scurvy companion’ and ‘thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.’” At press time, Snyder was seen using a quill to scribble on a packet of Thousand Island spread.