“Beg For It,” Says Automatic Faucet
WESTWOOD — According to toilets close with the Enabler, the rightmost automatic faucet in Target has begun demanding bathroom users to “beg for it” in […]
WESTWOOD — According to toilets close with the Enabler, the rightmost automatic faucet in Target has begun demanding bathroom users to “beg for it” in […]
DALLAS — Local senior citizen Dolly Berkshire amassed one million followers on TikTok Friday morning, a milestone she has been approaching since her video dancing […]
BERKELEY — Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley developed a vaccine for the viral Covid-19 at 11 a.m. on Monday, and yet the university […]
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In a scientific breakthrough, researchers at MIT have developed a mixture which, upon consumption, allows teeth to develop severe sunburns. “Why? Because […]
WESTWOOD — The Hill was abuzz Monday morning following a long-rumored announcement that Covel would finally be adding food to its menu. “We’ve heard your […]
WESTWOOD — In response to student complaints about accessibility issues, UCLA has hired a team of Sherpas to assist struggling students up The Hill. “In […]
WESTWOOD — Early Friday morning, students hailing from rural hometowns saw an opportunity to engage in a favorite childhood pastime after drunkenly stumbling past herds […]
CERRITOS, CA — Physicists have taken to the Razor Scooter headquarters in Cerritos, California earlier this week in an attempt to study the engineering genius […]
WESTWOOD — In preparation for finals week, the Charles E. Young Research Library’s collaboration pods have been replaced with sensory deprivation tanks full of salt […]
LOS ANGELES — In the name of advancing women’s equality, feminist hero Serena Colli commented “OMG!!!” on a female acquaintance’s photo. “I don’t even know […]
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