Young Research Library Introduces Sensory Deprivation Tanks

Graphic by Jay Varhula

WESTWOOD — In preparation for finals week, the Charles E. Young Research Library’s collaboration pods have been replaced with sensory deprivation tanks full of salt water, finally allowing students to study without the distracting sensations of light, sound, and gravity. “I’ve tried lo-fi beats and noise-cancelling headphones, but complete isolation from any outside stimuli is really the only thing that helps me focus,” said second year biology major Lorrie Morris, while soaking wet from a recent dip in the tank. “After an hour or two of complete submersion in the salty water, you really stop worrying about your GPA. All you think about are the horrifying hallucinations that torment you while you defenselessly float in a cramped, inescapable space.” If this new program is successful, the librarians plan to replace the book stacks with cryogenic procrastination pods.

About Jade Lacy 6 Articles
Jade is an enigma, the shadow at the edge of your vision, the personification of night, and a first-year English major. She enjoys creeping into your nightmares and creative writing.