Student Risks It All, Assumes Summer Job Does Not Require Drug Test
WESTWOOD—In a display of recklessness last Sunday, second year Geography and Environmental Studies major Michaela Watkins risked it all and assumed that her upcoming summer […]
WESTWOOD—In a display of recklessness last Sunday, second year Geography and Environmental Studies major Michaela Watkins risked it all and assumed that her upcoming summer […]
WESTWOOD—Sources report that freshman Brian Clements has finished up curating his sex playlist consisting solely of songs by popular R&B artist, The Weeknd. “He has […]
LOS ANGELES—This Tuesday, area man Oliver Howard reportedly had trouble determining if the pain in his lower abdomen was more of a “burning” or “stabbing” […]
NEW ROCHELLE, NY—Multiple sources have confirmed that Mom just got back from the grocery store and got the good cookies this time. “What? Yeah I […]
WESTWOOD—A new study performed by the UCLA Sports Medicine Center recently confirmed that the popular “athleisure” clothing produced by Lululemon Athletica is also good for […]
WESTWOOD—UCLA has just announced its plan to progressively eliminate fraternities within three years to help achieve its goal of zero waste by 2020. “It just […]
WESTWOOD — Despite years of experience suggesting otherwise, third year political science major Gianna Palos still thinks next quarter will be better. “I’m really going […]
WESTWOOD—Overwhelmed by the excessive quantity of tedious and inconsequential career paths available to her, biology major Yasmine Adar announced she was unsure what profession she […]
WESTWOOD–In a statement released last Thursday, second year physiological science major, Jonathan Michaelson, confirmed that he does indeed value sleep more than some academic endeavors. […]
WESTWOOD—Surrendering himself to a life of chipper pamphlet distribution, Biology major Alex Kim reportedly joined a Christian fellowship group on campus after being seduced by […]
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