4 Reasons Why You Don’t Deserve To Register In That Class You Need To Graduate
You really thought you were out of here. How naïve you were, going on your Class Planner, just begging for a spot to open up […]
You really thought you were out of here. How naïve you were, going on your Class Planner, just begging for a spot to open up […]
SEATTLE — As the Omicron variant ravages through the country, top language researchers have noticed a second surge of the word “unprecedented.” “It’s as if […]
WESTWOOD — On Friday evening, local ‘woke’ man and third-year global studies major Jack Stoop prefaced oral sex with an acknowledgement that we are on […]
WESTWOOD — After years of studying nothing but theory, fourth year Philosophy student Mark Li had to be informed that he was incapable of producing […]
PHOENIX— Law enforcement responded to a call this morning from the Phoenix Post Office after Joanne Baker, a gruntled former employee, brought in cupcakes. “Once […]
LOS ANGELES — This Christmas, Ellie Smith is taking back the night by asking her mom if she really needs that second helping. “This is […]
WASHINGTON, DC — In what can only be described as a heartwarming break from the nation’s political drama, sources confirmed Monday that every morning Joe […]
LOS ANGELES — Following the release of “Spiderman: No Way Home,” data scientists at Tinder report that men who are 5’8” are now changing their […]
CLAYTON, MO— For the third time this week, employees at Enterprise Rent-A-Car were dismayed to learn that they would be required to attend a meeting […]
WESTWOOD — Tensions reached an unprecedented high Saturday when third-year Maya Hernandez received a text from her roommate saying, “Heyyy, let’s wipe down the counter […]
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