PHOENIX— Law enforcement responded to a call this morning from the Phoenix Post Office after Joanne Baker, a gruntled former employee, brought in cupcakes. “Once we apprehended the suspect, it became clear that not only was she gruntled, but combobulated and shevelled as well,” said Chief of Police Frank McDormand, noting that Baker, who had recently announced her retirement, appeared kempt, and in a state of total array. “We questioned her and, being appointed by her answers, tasted some of her gusting cupcakes. All in all, this day has been a real aster.” When reached for comment, Mrs. Baker said she was feeling positively whelmed by all of the attention.
