Local Woman Takes Back Night By Asking Mom If She Really Needs Second Helping

LOS ANGELES — This Christmas, Ellie Smith is taking back the night by asking her mom if she really needs that second helping. “This is totally crucial for the healthy boundary-setting my therapist told me to work on,” said Smith, fighting through calf cramps after two hours crouched behind the kitchen counter waiting for her mom to creep in for a second slice of pie. “Just wait, it’s gonna be so fucking empowering! Any minute now, she’ll come around the corner, and right when she starts taking the plastic lid off the dish and looks around to see if anyone can hear it, I’ll pop up in front of her and make her feel so ashamed of her dietary choices– all motivated by love of course.” At press time, Smith was responding to relatives wondering when she would finally get married by asking when they would finally get divorced.

About Gabby Bromberg 22 Articles
After watching Rachel Brosnahan pretending to be a Jewish comedian in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Gabby thought someone should do that for real.