Biz Econ Major’s “Connections” Actually Just Parents

Business people shaking hands

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Business Economics major Cornelius “Chad” Getty recently revealed that the “connections” that got him his job were actually just his parents. “I became suspicious after he told me he was making 120k a year as an intern,” reported a close friend of Getty, who wished to remain anonymous due to his fear of no longer being invited to Getty family vacations. “I assumed it was because he had a good LinkedIn. But when I checked, his only connections had the same last name as him.” At press time, Getty was “off the grid” in the Hamptons and could not be reached for comment.

About Gabe McNeill 20 Articles
Known primarily for his roles in the Watergate break-in and the breakup of The Beatles, Gabe McNeill was inspired to write for The Enabler after the Daily Bruin fired him.