TA’s Personal Fridge Full Of Strangled Pets
WESTWOOD—After an anonymous student reported a brutalized parakeet toppling out of the fridge during office hours, UCPD discovered nearly a dozen strangled pets from a […]
WESTWOOD—After an anonymous student reported a brutalized parakeet toppling out of the fridge during office hours, UCPD discovered nearly a dozen strangled pets from a […]
Cynthia, we’re done. I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry we broke up, but we had to. It really wasn’t working out. We’ve sorted our stuff […]
WESTWOOD—UCLA student James Lips set his alarm for the first time during his college career and found that, surprisingly, there are more hours in a […]
LOS ANGELES, CA—The neighborhood “peeping tom,” Ernest Douglas, has bravely decided to change his lifestyle and become a priest after witnessing a woman violently shitting […]
BIG CITY, BIG STATE—Citing his desire to make something great out of himself, Stan Levinson, a nobody from an aw, shucks folksy ‘burb in the […]
BERKELEY, CA—Scientists at UC Berkeley have just confirmed that, despite what you may have thought and still think, your dad was right. You can argue […]
WESTWOOD—In an entirely unnoticed general meeting, USAC passed something. “This resolution is really going to help out the UCLA community,” said a general representative whose […]
LOS GATOS, CA—Local dog owner Elizabeth Juarez was stunned to learn her dog, an Australian Shepherd named Sandwich, is racist. “At first I thought he […]
Ah, the career fair. Such fun! Such wonder! Like many other students, I woke up early, got dressed up in a business casual sleeveless […]
Well, you’ve all heard the news by now. Laugh it up, liberals. You may have gotten me off the air and out of the public’s […]
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