Alabamian Initiates Dorm Floorcest Movement In The Name Of Culture
WESTWOOD — First-year Alabamian and psychology major Cous N. Louver has sparked controversy for introducing a new trend among his peers: floorcest. “My entangled family […]
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Opinion: EEEEEEEK!
GEt it off Get it off! I thINK it BIT ME!!!! All I did was make the squeaky noise so it would look at me, […]
Generous UCLA Admin Gives Week Off For Students To Process Drake-Kendrick Feud
WESTWOOD — In a move that exemplifies the generosity and kindness they are known for, the UCLA administration announced on Monday that they would give […]
Gene Block’s Balls Chafe From Fence-Sitting
WESTWOOD — In a campus-wide press release, Gene Block, notoriously radical centrist, announced that his balls are chafing from his rampant fence-sitting. “While this unauthorized, […]
Throwing Up In Class And Four Other Trends That Have Majorly Fallen Off
Reminiscing on trends that used to be all the rage but haven’t gotten a lot of attention lately? The Westwood Enabler has you covered. These […]
Bel-Air Property Auction Gets Heated Over Having Best View Of College Town
BEL-AIR — In the process of brokering a deal worthy of its property value, a Bel-Air home auction recently got heated over having the best […]
De Neve Late Night Reopens With Mandatory Breathalyzer Test
WESTWOOD — Beloved dining hall De Neve is set to reopen its Late Night menu with more pizza, flatter soda, and a lot less fun […]
Carrot Man Eaten By Easter Bunny, Rises Again Three Days Later
WESTWOOD — After being eaten by the Easter Bunny on Sunday, Westwood icon Carrot Man rose again three days later with an even larger carrot […]
Biden Administration Demands Ceasefire In Gaza: “But It’s Chill If Not No Worries”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an announcement from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that the attack on Rafah would proceed despite international pressure, the Biden administration […]