Report: UCLA Campus Surpasses State Of Iowa For Most Pigs Per Capita
WESTWOOD — After UCPD officers swarmed Royce Hall once again yesterday to meet their daily quota of mercilessly beating up students, UCLA was awarded for […]
UCPD
Julio Frenk Takes “Fuck the Police” Seriously, Last Seen Naked In Royce Hall
WESTWOOD — After a recent protest marched up to Murphy Hall, home of the office of the chancellor, Julio Frenk decided to hear out the […]
UCPD Relapses After Suffering Arrest Withdrawals
WESTWOOD – Last night, UCPD relapsed in their ongoing addiction to arresting innocent students by violently swarming a movie screening and arresting two attendees. “The […]
UCPD Arrests Student For Thinking About Palestine
WESTWOOD — UCPD officers reported that their week of sitting on their asses at Royce has finally proven useful as they arrested a passerby for […]
One Year Later: Police Reprise Role As Useless Bystanders
WESTWOOD — Nearing the one-year anniversary of the encampment, police can once again be seen standing around Royce doing jack shit. “What?” said Sergeant Rogers, […]
Julio Frenk Fires Self In Compliance With UCLA’s New Anti-Diversity Hiring Policies
WESTWOOD – This morning, Julio Frenk showed his dedication to following UCLA’s new anti-diversity hiring policies by firing himself. “When I was hired, there was […]
UCLA To Investigate What UCLA Ordered UCPD To Do
WESTWOOD — On Monday morning, Chancellor Gene Block announced UCLA’s investigation into what UCLA ordered UCPD to do to UCLA student protestors on UCLA’s campus. […]
Undercover With The UCPD Scooter Squad
WESTWOOD — In the UCPD campus safety system, scooter-based offenses are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious misdemeanors are members of […]