WESTWOOD — Nearing the one-year anniversary of the encampment, police can once again be seen standing around Royce doing jack shit. “What?” said Sergeant Rogers, not looking up from his phone as another student got pepper sprayed behind him. “Oh, yeah, my job. UCLA just issued us all these mirrored sunglasses so we can sleep through any brutality that may occur, and then they can wake us up when they need us to escalate it.” At press time, UCLA was seen increasing its policing budget to employ even more of these freeloaders on campus.