UCLA Frat Says No One Wore Blackface, Only ‘Rachel Dolezal’ Face
WESTWOOD — A fraternity says that no one wore blackface to the recent “Rachel Dolezal”-themed party that sparked protests on campus last week. The fraternity […]
Birthday Girl Neglected By World For Remaining 364 Days Of The Year
TOLEDO, OH — Following the birthday celebration of 20-year old Ayah Zobi, all living organisms from protists to senior citizens across all 196 nations of […]
Student Has Perfect Thing To Add To Lecture
WESTWOOD — Much to the admiration of those around her, second year Jessica Grant confirmed Monday that she had like the perfect thing to add to […]
Report: Students Spending More Money On Textbooks Than Useful Shit
WASHINGTON, DC — A study released by the United States Department of Commerce Thursday found that college students are spending an increasing amount of money […]
Marco Rubio Forges Doctor’s Note To Get Senate Absences Excused
WASHINGTON, DC — Following months of missed votes and prolonged periods of absences from his Senate duties, Marco Rubio reportedly handed Senate Majority Leader Mitch […]
Mars Sends Probe To Find Water In Central California
SECTOR 81-B, MARS — A group of Martian researchers have launched a probe designed to search for traces of water on Central Californian soil, according […]
Fraternity Gets Black Guy
AUSTIN, TX — In a press release this Sunday, The University of Texas, Austin’s chapter of Xi Pi Phi announced that their newest pledge, Kyle […]
What To Expect From The Hill’s New Fitness Center
The Hill’s new 14,000 square-foot fitness center opens this week, providing on-campus residents with a convenient spot to get in their daily workout. Here are […]
Unmarried Gay Man Braces Himself For Increased Pressure From Family
WEST HOLLYWOOD—Following the legalization of same-sex marriage throughout the United States, local single gay man Brian Dominguez is reportedly preparing himself for a drastic increase […]
Nation Congratulates Gay Friend
UNITED STATES—In light of the Supreme Court’s historic decision legalizing same-sex marriage, citizens across the Nation turned to their gay friend via Facebook message today to congratulate […]