FLINT, MI—Noting that there’s “plenty to go around,” Mayor Dayne Walling of Flint, Michigan announced in a press conference Jan. 19 that the city was interested in sharing its water resources with the drought-afflicted California. “Water availability is an essential human right, and we have an American obligation to provide such for all citizens,” stated Walling behind a noticeable fume cloud whose source was traced to the ceremonial barrels of murky brown water that adorned the podium. “Nothing would make us happier than to get rid of—I mean, share—the good ole water that flows around Flint. It’s so natural, all the environmentalists are raving about it!” When reached for comment, Governor Jerry Brown of California politely refused, saying that the state could “never accept such an offer” at this time.
