MINNEAPOLIS—A recent study conducted by the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities shows that hating Justin Bieber is vital to looking cool to the other twelve-year-olds. […]
WESTWOOD—Second-year physics student Trevor Barnes arrived at his dorm late Tuesday evening to discover that his roommate, Tom Bornstein, had a friend over for some […]
That bucket hat looks really amazing on you. And the little string you use to fasten it around your neck—what is that called, the neck […]
WESTWOOD — Stating he felt “extreme terror” and “penetrating feelings of fear,” third year sociology major Jason Schwartz claims to have found a hollow glass […]
Lo! 1642 years after the incarnation of our lord on the eve of harvest, all of England and her territories recoil as the Bastard of […]
WESTWOOD — A team of sociologists from UCLA, working in conjunction with distinguished scholars from the University of Washington and Saint Mary’s College, have concluded […]
WESTWOOD — First-year English student Henry Bellows is definitely working on the Great American novel, sources close to him reported. “Oh yeah, he totally is,” […]
People of America, I have a message for you all. Stop being big fat meanie jerkfaces! It’s not fair! It was my turn to be […]
LOS ANGELES— Notoriously Pretty Celebrity was noticeably less pretty than usual today when she emerged from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after giving birth to twins. “While […]
SAN QUENTIN, CA — Danny Feroz, a notorious California hitman convicted of 12 homicides, was stabbed to death in the cafeteria of San Quentin State […]
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