Study: Vegetables Don’t Eat Themselves
WESTWOOD — A groundbreaking study conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles has concluded that vegetables do not, in fact, eat themselves. “We observed […]
Report: Actually, This Pod Reserved
WESTWOOD — In an unexpected turn of events, local YRL patron Simone Defford approached a group of students today in what witnesses could only describe […]
Point: I’m Not Your Waifu, You Fucking Creep / Counterpoint: Then Why Is Your Face On My Body-Pillow?
Point: I’m Not Your Waifu, You Fucking Creep By: Ashley Jacobs Listen. Attraction is natural. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, has wanted to fuck […]
Thirteen Year Old Beatles Fan Born In Wrong Generation
SAN ANTONIO — Thirteen year old Beatles fan Allan Davis realized early Monday morning that he was, in fact, born in the wrong generation. “Like this comment […]
Area Housecat Charged With Misdemeanor Catnip Possession
SAN FRANCISCO — In the highest profile criminal case of the decade, area housecat Mr. Whiskers was found in his house early Monday morning with seven […]
Senior Kinda Relieved “Best Time Of Her Life” Almost Over
WESTWOOD — Waking up bright and early for her 11 am class Wednesday morning, fourth-year Adrianne Moreno revealed that she was kind of relieved the […]
Report: Milk Bad For Sure Now
WESTWOOD — Tentatively sniffing the half-gallon jug, fourth-year English major Jenny Wong concluded that the milk was bad for sure now. “It tasted kinda off […]
Study: Only 40% Of YRL Patrons Potty-Trained
According to a new study published by the UCLA School of Public Health, only 40% of students, faculty, and other visitors who utilize the university’s […]
BREAKING: Male RA Straight
WESTWOOD — Sources indicate that male RA Michael Uchida has demolished societal norms by not being gay. “This is a landmark moment for all male RAs […]
Report: Freshman Has Sophomore Standing
WESTWOOD — In an impressive display of power, first-year UCLA student Alana Kendrick announced last Tuesday that, despite the fact that it is her first […]