Quarantine

Student Becomes Disability Rights Advocate After His Midterms Shift To In-Person

January 28, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — A tireless new advocate for disability rights has emerged at UCLA in the form of fourth-year Jordan Jortson, who recently found out his […]

Student Saves Time To Stare At Wall By Watching Lectures At Double Speed

January 22, 2022 Don John 0

WESTWOOD — This year’s Omicron crisis has pushed many students into busy remote schedules, forcing them to listen to lectures at double speed to preserve […]

2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022

January 7, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]

Woke Guy Prefaces Oral Sex With Acknowledgement We Are On Indigenous Land

December 30, 2021 Tatiana Davidson 0

WESTWOOD — On Friday evening, local ‘woke’ man and third-year global studies major Jack Stoop prefaced oral sex with an acknowledgement that we are on […]

“I Do My Own Research,” Says Aaron Rodgers On Why He Never Wins In Playoffs

November 6, 2021 Don John 0

GREEN BAY — Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers expressed in a recent interview that, similar to his stances on masks and the COVID-19 vaccines, he also […]

Student Realizes Quarantine Not The Problem

October 12, 2021 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — After skipping her first week of in-person classes to lie in bed and watch YouTube videos about 16th century ship-building techniques, third-year Cognitive […]

CDC: Fully Vaccinated People Can Smoke Cigarettes They Find On Ground

May 19, 2021 Jade Lacy 0

ATLANTA — On Wednesday evening, the Centers for Disease Control announced a change in their guidelines for fully vaccinated Americans, allowing them to take one […]

Guy Making Jokes In Lecture Chat Releases Netflix Special

April 14, 2021 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — Third-year psychobiology student Neil Korsch is preparing to release a Netflix stand-up comedy special later this month after his critically acclaimed set in […]