BREAKING: Westwood Neighborhood Council Sends Troops To Occupy UCLA
WESTWOOD — In a surprising act that sent shockwaves across the country, The Westwood Neighborhood Council sent armed troops to occupy the sovereign UCLA campus this […]
Campus
BREAKING: Freshman’s Virginity Still Going Strong
WESTWOOD — It’s spring quarter, and somehow, local freshman James Rosenberg’s virginity is still intact. “I knew it was going to take some time, but […]
Report: B-Fit Playing That Song Again
WESTWOOD—Sources inside the Bruin Fitness Center (B-Fit) weight room confirmed on Monday that the campus gym was again playing that song that they always play. […]
Occasional Affirmation Just Enough To Sustain Professor/Student Fantasy
WESTWOOD — An offhand affirmation recently imparted by UCLA biochemistry professor Keith Abrams to one of his students was just enough to sustain the delusional fantasy […]
North Campus T.A. Growing Out Gross Beard
WESTWOOD — Philosophy 100A TA Mark Isaacs announced this week that he would be growing out a gross beard in the coming quarter. “As I […]
Local Roommate’s Tinder No Longer Ironic
WESTWOOD — Earlier this week, area woman Becca Corkin officially changed her stance on the nature of her roommate’s Tinder usage. “I think it started off […]
Area Woman Unsure If Man Cute Or If She Just Bored
WESTWOOD — Sources close to the scene report that area woman Bethany Watson is having a difficult time deciding if her male friend is cute or […]
Report: Dishes Still There
WESTWOOD — According to a recent scientific study published by your roommates, findings verified that your dishes are still there. “After observing empirical data and […]
Dumb Opinion Definitely Not Worth Discussion Points
WESTWOOD — After careful study, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles have determined that expressing your dumb opinion is definitely not worth the discussion […]
Powell Bathrooms To Require Multifactor Authentication
WESTWOOD — In a press release late Thursday night, UCLA officials announced that mandated multifactor authentication would extend to the use of Powell Library bathrooms. […]