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Life

BruinCast Employee Wins Oscar For Creative Camerawork

March 13, 2023 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Abby Gromberg made history this Oscar Sunday after she was awarded “Best Director” for her work on LS 7A 2/13. “I think […]

Triangle of Sadness? This Woman Has a UTI

March 12, 2023 Melissa Beining 0

Watching the Oscars? Here are our quick takes on the Best Picture nominees! Buy me dinner first! Give ‘em a mic, I say! I sure […]

Finally! 2023 Oscars To Be Nationwide Convention Of Guys Named Oscar

March 11, 2023 Dana Badii 0

HOLLYWOOD — Today, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences made a well-received announcement that the 95th Oscars would be a national convention of […]

I Lived It: Someone Asked To Share My Table At Kerckhoff

March 9, 2023 Sam Haines 0

The first thing that struck me, looking up at her, was that she had a kind face. What struck me next was her nerve. “Hi, […]

Trend Watch: Divorce!

March 6, 2023 James Hinckleberry, Family Law Attorney (1-800-DIVORCE) 0

After a glorious 20-year run, US divorce rates are back down to historic lows. Come on, people! What are we doing? The United States is […]

Opinion: I’ve Been Wandering Around Epicuria For 10 Weeks With No Empty Tables In Sight

March 4, 2023 Dana Badii 0

How many days has it been? 3? 7? 70? I’ve been pacing around the ravioli, tiramisu, and ricotta. Back and forth, back and forth, back […]

Local Vagina Saves Discharge For Best Underwear

March 3, 2023 Gillian Smith 0

YOUR CROTCH — Despite eight previous hours of blessed discharge-free existence while you were wearing that ratty pair of granny panties you’ve had since high […]

Student Treats Self To A Few Days Of Rotting In Bed

March 1, 2023 Ammi Lane-Volz 0

A WINDOWLESS BEDROOM — Area student Molly Lee was seen this morning treating themself to a days-long stint of rotting in bed. Due to their recent […]

Complaining About the Rain? Don’t Worry, Climate Change Will Get Rid Of It

March 1, 2023 Tyler Neufeld 0

WESTWOOD — You’ve been complaining for two months now about the rain we’ve gotten this winter. You’re telling everyone that you’re sick and tired of […]

Opinion: How I Get So Much Volume In My Hair I Can’t Hear My Roommate Face-Timing Her Boyfriend

February 27, 2023 Melissa Beining 0

Step 1: I take a shower. This gives me an excuse to avoid hearing my roommate cycle through pet names for her five foot eight […]

Posts pagination

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  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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