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Report: Judge Who Struck Down Mask Mandate Has A Great Smile

April 26, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

TAMPA — Reporters on the scene at Florida’s Middle District Federal court, where Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle recently struck down the mask mandate for public […]

Student Using Zoom Raise Hand Function “Just Stretching”

January 27, 2022 Amariyah Lane-Volz 0

LOS ANGELES — Second-year Communications major Aiden Malone clarified today that his use of the “raise hand” function on zoom was just his stretching. “If […]

Student Saves Time To Stare At Wall By Watching Lectures At Double Speed

January 22, 2022 Arman 0

WESTWOOD — This year’s Omicron crisis has pushed many students into busy remote schedules, forcing them to listen to lectures at double speed to preserve […]

Report: Your Neighbor Only Practices Trombone Because He Hates You

January 18, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

WESTWOOD — After careful consideration of the evidence, we’re certain that your neighbor- the one saved in your phone as “Angus from Apartment 216”- only […]

Safety Legends! This Restaurant Switched Their Food To QR Codes

January 13, 2022 Brandon Wang 0

LOS ANGELES — Public health officials clapped when local restaurant Joe’s Burgers, already having replaced its paper menus with QR codes, doubled down on safety […]

4 Reasons Why You Don’t Deserve To Register In That Class You Need To Graduate

January 6, 2022 Arman 0

You really thought you were out of here. How naïve you were, going on your Class Planner, just begging for a spot to open up […]

Good News! Ashe Appointment Available December 2022

December 27, 2021 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — On her fifth call to the Ashe Center, second-year Natalie Johnson was able to secure a primary care appointment for December 2022. “I’m […]

Meeting That Could Have Been Zoom Call Could Have Been Email

December 21, 2021 Dylan Wood 0

CLAYTON, MO— For the third time this week, employees at Enterprise Rent-A-Car were dismayed to learn that they would be required to attend a meeting […]

Online Professor Requests Students “Smash That Like Button, Comment, And Subscribe”

December 15, 2021 Amariyah Lane-Volz 0

WESTWOOD — In the wake of instructor surveys, online professors have begun to request that students smash that like button, comment on the discussion board, […]

3 Signs the Girl Who Liked Your Post in the Class GroupMe Is in Love With You

October 13, 2021 Lily Kiamanesh 0

You have been looking for some romance, but never thought you might find it in your chemistry group chat with 589 people. After replying to […]

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