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Freshman Drops Stack Of Plates In Dining Hall, Transfers Out

May 20, 2019 Natalie Epstein 0

WESTWOOD — After dropping four plates and a glass of water in Bruin Plate while walking to put his dishes away, first-year physiological science major Andy […]

White Freshman Takes Huge Risk With Ethnic-Sounding Entrée

December 19, 2018 Drew Muxlow 0

WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, caucasian first-year Ezra Bloss got the Salvadorian pupusas at De Neve dining hall. “I’ve never felt more attacked in my life,” […]

UCLA Housing Surprised To Learn Elevators Need Permits

December 19, 2018 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Housing administration was astonished to learn on Friday that the Hill’s elevators do, in fact, need permits. “It just completely slipped […]

Roommate Found Online Starting To Show Some Red Flags

September 3, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

SAN DIEGO, CA — After thinking about it some more, incoming freshman Kayla Marker has begun to cast some doubt on her roommate selection choice following […]

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Dining Hall Employee Getting Really Tired Of Your Shit

June 10, 2017 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD—After multiple claims that she was getting frustrated with patrons stealing things, sneaking in, and generally causing a ruckus, dining hall employee Diane Wollman confirmed […]

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Incredible! This Couple Got An Omelet At Covel And Didn’t Have Sex In Line

March 6, 2017 Jack Lyons 0

We all know how tempting it can be to intimately embrace your partner during that long, hard wait for a sizzling, delicious omelet at Covel […]

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New Dining Hall Somehow More Pretentious Than B-Plate

January 10, 2017 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD—In an impressive display of extravagance, UCLA Housing recently unveiled a new dining hall, which is somehow even more pretentious than Bruin Plate. The Study […]

Report: All Late Night Curly Fries Traced Back To Single “Mother Fry”

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD—In a report issued by the UCLA Center for Sustenance Research, scientists have confirmed that all curly fries from De Neve Late Night are traceable […]

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Pro-Feast Militia Organizes and Occupies Dining Hall

February 14, 2016 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD—Following UCLA Dining Services’ decision to close residential dining hall Feast on the weekends, a group of students have occupied the dining hall in protest […]

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UCLA Student Spends Exciting Friday Night Cleaning Apartment

February 14, 2016 Jessica Waite 0

WESTWOOD–Claiming she had turned down several invitations to do it, fourth year Asian Humanities major Jessie Harlan spent her Friday night cleaning her apartment. “It’s […]

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