WESTWOOD — Due to the pandemic, second-year linguistics student Dan Gene-Attell willingly paid $20,000 to take online classes from Barcelona, Spain while remaining in his fraternity basement. “BarTHelona was beautiful,” said Gene-Attell, who now speaks with a phony lisp. “The people. The food! The little night monsters that live in the river! It was an experienTH. Now I only eat Tapas. Big plates are a no. Just like the night monsters that suck on your toes when you sleep.” At press time, Gene-Attell was seen setting his zoom background to the singer Shakira.