The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
  • A&E
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • Life
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact

Dating

Housing Adds “Homoerotic Tension” Option to Male Roommate Contracts

December 16, 2022 Tyler Neufeld 0

WESTWOOD — Preparing for the renewal of roommate contracts for Winter Quarter, UCLA Housing has added a “Homoerotic Tension” clause, hoping to play matchmaker. “We […]

Opinion: We Need A Bumble Where I Don’t Have To Message First

December 13, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

Bumble’s unique, women-first messaging system has made it the top dating app for progressive thinkers, bisexuals, and men who are willing to try pegging at […]

Opinion: How Bringing My Copy Of “Ready Player Two” With Me To The Dining Hall Helped Me Get Laid

November 24, 2022 Bustopher Jones 0

Like many UCLA students, I had hoped to experience my first romance at this fine institution, but as an oft-ignored fellow, that moment seemed like […]

Freshman Breaks Off Long Distance Relationship With Mom

November 7, 2022 Bella Dunham 0

WESTWOOD— Freshman Joe Maman made the tricky decision Monday morning to break things off with his long-distance mother. “She wants to call me every day […]

Area Dog Puts Human As Last Tinder Profile Picture

October 24, 2022 Mehr Juneja 0

WESTWOOF — Local pup Daw Gee took to the streets Monday and made a Tinder for himself, making sure to put a shot of his […]

“No More Mr. Nice Guy!” Says Man Who Never Respected You To Begin With

October 16, 2022 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD — The planet as we know it was shaken to its core today when local Mr. Nice Guy Neil Belmont officially renounced his title. […]

POC Ally Alert! White Man Only Dates Asian Women

July 6, 2022 Harry Song 0

SAN DIEGO — Marginalized communities across the nation praised white man Evan Schmidt this Wednesday for his radical choice to exclusively date Asian women. “I’ve […]

Gaslighting Boyfriend Correctly Describes Brain As “All in Your Head”

July 5, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

WESTWOOD — On Thursday evening, local gaslighting boyfriend Jayson “what’s ur snap?” Jones correctly described his girlfriend’s brain as “all in her head.” “Nothing you […]

“He’s Cuter In Person,” And Other Lies To Tell Your Friends About Him

February 1, 2022 Hanna Barlow 0

Girly, we’ve all been there. You start talking to a new guy and you’re eager to gab with your girlfriends about this new potential mans […]

How To Have The Perfect Valentine’s Day In College

February 11, 2016 Enabler Staff 0

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! Whether you’re in a relationship or still waiting for that Special Someone, here are some tips for having […]

Featured Authors

mm
Lucas Humel
  • Fetishist Senator Gravely Misunderstands U.S.’ Inflation Problem
  • Undercover With The UCPD Scooter Squad
  • Trend Watch! These Fuckin’ Things

RECOMMENDED

  • UCLA’s Final Offer: Replace All TAs With This Cute Widdle Guy

    December 14, 2022 0
  • Opinion: We Need A Bumble Where I Don’t Have To Message First

    December 13, 2022 0
  • Undercover With The UCPD Scooter Squad

    December 12, 2022 0
  • Trend Watch! These Fuckin’ Things

    December 8, 2022 0
  • Financial Aid Office Suggests Trying Ramen

    December 7, 2022 0
FOLLOW US
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
ARCHIVES

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes