WESTWOOD — After returning from Ralphs today at 12:30 p.m. PST, your roommate assured you that he is definitely going to finish the bananas he bought this time. “Oh yeah, it’s going to be banana time 24/7 up in here,” said your roommate as he shoved your carton of eggs aside to make room in the otherwise empty refrigerator. “Of course, it’ll be tricky to schedule banana-eating sessions while also finally teaching myself guitar. But I’ll manage.” Reporters on the scene later confirmed witnessing your roommate staring at his phone blankly for an hour after boasting about how he was going to “shoot his shot” with that girl he likes.
About Jay Varhula 23 Articles
The latest in a long line of miners, Jay stumbled upon the Westwood Enabler after accidentally mining through the floor into one of their meetings. In exchange for several precious stones, the Enabler made him editor-in-chief on the spot. Jay's hobbies include: mining for rare stones and metals, singing chanties about the miner's life, and pet photography.