Obituary: The Fly That Landed On Pence’s Head

“The brightest stars burn the shortest, and also flies just don’t live that long” – UC Davis entomologist, Steve Nadler.

2020 takes another. The fly that made its brief foray into the public eye during this year’s vice presidential debate passed away peacefully in its sleep early this morning.

Tommy Hausfly died on Monday, Oct. 26, 2020 at the age of 28 days old, due to the fact that the average housefly lives approximately 28 days.

Born in Salt Lake City, Utah, Mr. Hausfly worked as a fly at a local outdoor barbecue restaurant until taking the brave leap to pursue politics, earning his bachelor’s degree in political science at the University of Utah.

He is survived by all flies that were born fewer than 28 days ago (save for victims of swatter incidents) and also Mike Pence. Mr. Hausfly’s husband declined to comment because he is a fly.

A public funeral service, hosted by all the little bugs that live on Pence’s head, will be held on Nov. 1 at 6 p.m. In lieu of flowers, Mr. Hausfly’s family has requested that every guest bring a single rotted piece of fruit per Hausfly family tradition.

Mr. Hausfly’s memory will be cherished. We at the Westwood Enabler hope he is up in fly-heaven swatting at all the teeny tiny humans.

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About Jessica Block 3 Articles
I love my wife Michelle, and my daughters Sasha and Malia. Wait, what was the question?