THE HEAVENS— After scrolling through Facebook over the weekend, God expressed genuine confusion regarding humanity’s reaction to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro’s death. “I thought we were all on the same page here?” the Divine Creator pondered, after reading a long-winded post about how much of a progressive icon Castro allegedly was. “We’re talking about the same guy here, right?” He continued. “Castro, as in, the Castro who sent Cuba into the dark ages and established a military dictatorship? With the long beard and everything?” At press time, groups of millennials were overheard asking God to “check His privilege” on the matter and reconsider His decision to “take Castro so soon.”
