TA Worried Strike Will Impact Weapons Manufacturing Job
WESTWOOD — As another TA strike seems imminent, some graduate students are more hesitant to support the cause. “It’s not like these foreign wars have […]
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Biz Econ Major Excited To Commit White-Collar Crimes
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year business economics major Bordan Jelfort announced today that after years of experience in petty crime, he now intends to pursue a fruitful […]
ROTC Cadet Makes CAPS Appointment For Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder
WESTWOOD — Third-year ROTC Cadet Sammy Patriot has been desperately calling the CAPS crisis hotline to speak about his self-diagnosed Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). “I […]
Opinion: The Enabler Fired Me But I Can Still Log Into The Website
They thought they’d gotten rid of me. They told me I wasn’t funny enough for this publication and to go write for the Daily Bruin. […]
REPORT: English Major Still Can’t Spell Kerckhoff
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year English major Lauren Ipsum shocked friends and classmates Tuesday when she spelled the campus landmark as “Kirkhoff,” “Kerkoff,” and “Kirckoff” within a […]
Opinion: The Anderson School Of Management Should Be Burned Down
WESTWOOD — Last week, I got lost in the Anderson School of Management. It wasn’t my fault! Each building is numbered. And lettered. And it […]
Local Woman Finally Decides To Settle Down And Adopt A Highway
THE 101 — In an inspiring story out of Los Angeles, 32-year-old feminist Simone Hedrick has made the brave decision to finally settle down and […]
“It Rhymes with Schmivorce” And Four Other Ways To Break The News To Your Kids
It’s never easy to tell your kids that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. Between the tears, the pleas for reconciliation, and a lawsuit […]
Student Offered $1 Million Grant After Sending Professor The Perfect Email
WESTWOOD — Sophomore biology student, Cindy Sheraton, is celebrating the opportunity of a lifetime after receiving the William F. Buckley Memorial Prize for an exceptional […]