The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
  • A&E
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • Life
  • All Things Enabled
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact

Uncategorized

BREAKING: Classmate Said “Zeitgeist”

May 27, 2019 Han Singer 0

WESTWOOD — At 10:33 A.M. today, according to reports, fourth year philosophy major Nathan Braz said “zeitgeist” in a class discussion. Sources stated that the […]

Student Who Never Went To Class Takes Grad Pics On Campus

April 25, 2019 Sam Mallari 0

WESTWOOD —  Amy Allens, fourth-year English student and soon-to-be UCLA alumna, took to Instagram to unveil her array of graduation pictures, poetically taken in front […]

YRL Mountain Lion Diverts Attention From Powell Cat

April 2, 2019 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — After a mountain lion was noticed taking residence in the bushes adjacent to Young Research Library (YRL), many students have taken to the […]

Ninth Circle Of Hell Just Murphy Hall

February 5, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

VATICAN CITY — At a recent papal summit, Pope Francis confirmed that Murphy Hall lies within the boundaries of Hell’s most treacherous and damning circle. “You might […]

Breaking: Professor Enters Classroom With Saxophone

January 27, 2019 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD, 10:07 a.m. — Westwood Enabler reporters have obtained disturbing reports from campus administration that a professor has entered the Boelter Hall amphitheatre with a […]

Sunset Ruined By Lousy Stinkin’ Tree

January 18, 2019 Nathan Glovinsky 0

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters / CP: No

November 4, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters By Edgar Montgomery Smith As residents of Westwood, it is our collective responsibility to […]

Professors Collaborate To Ruin Josh’s Life

November 4, 2018 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD — In an impressive display of teamwork, three UCLA professors collaborated specifically to ruin Josh’s life. “Both Professor [Julian] Wakeman and Professor [Rosa] Mohamed […]

Occasional Affirmation Just Enough To Sustain Professor/Student Fantasy

April 12, 2018 Alex Kukoff 0

WESTWOOD — An offhand affirmation recently imparted by UCLA biochemistry professor Keith Abrams to one of his students was just enough to sustain the delusional fantasy […]

Area Woman Pleased With Number of Likes on Post About Social Media Cleanse

February 27, 2018 Anya Bayerle 0

LOS ANGELES — Amateur photographer Amber Allman was pleasantly surprised at the number of likes she received on her latest Instagram post declaring her indefinite […]

Posts navigation

1 2 … 14 »

Ivory Search

RECOMMENDED

  • Richter Scale Objectifies Earthquakes, Claims California Advocacy Group

    October 29, 2019 0
  • Op-Ed: Never Mind, It’s Just Another Amber Alert

    October 21, 2019 0
  • Op-Ed: I Think My Girlfriend Is Actually Tupac In Disguise

    October 21, 2019 0
  • Money Can’t Buy Happiness, Reports Man in Upper Middle Class

    October 9, 2019 0
  • Father-Son Fishing Trip Goes Sour When Both Realize Fishing Sucks

    October 7, 2019 0
FOLLOW US
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
ARCHIVES

Copyright © 2019 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes