WESTWOOD — Due to recent budget cuts, Chancellor Gene Block has begun pushing for a new cost-cutting and productivity-boosting measure: murder. “Even if we shoot 20 students a day, we still won’t be able to pay our TAs or student workers a fair wage,” explained Gene Block as he cocked his Gene Glock. When asked about his latest 25% raise, Block replied, “600k doesn’t go as far as it used to!” Following this report, Block was seen taking a student worker who was late to their shift to the back of the Hilltop Store.